Date Responsibly Vol. 1

GOD’s greatest creation is the individual. Who you and I are away from the crowd is all that matters. By embracing our individuality we come alive to the highest level of liberty. With such liberty comes power. But to whom much is given much is required, and so with the liberty and power of individuality comes an inescapable responsibility. Generally speaking, we are responsible for the quality of our lives, but even more specific in regards to this conversation, WE are responsible for the quality of our relationships. “Welcome to planet Earth. There is nothing that you cannot be, or do, or have. You are a magnificent creator.”

Stay Tuned for more to come!

In regards to men and women, it has been written that the woman is the “weaker vessel”. I’ve always thought in line with that but have since turned from such thinking. Far be it from me to question scripture. But what I believe the writer meant was that you as a woman aren’t weak because of some sort of insufficiency on your end. But that the same opportunities, advantages and perceptions freely granted to men aren’t equally afforded to you. Ironically it is this lack of equality that seems to contribute to your strength. I am learning more and more each day how flawed men are and it is with each revelation that my admiration for women multiplies.
I think it unwise to compare men and women in a way that demeans the other. In all sincerity as a man I need you. You are my balance. I realize that now. I pray you do as well. It is my deepest hope that you would become alive to who you really are. That you would protect your mind, guard your heart and treasure your body. You really do amaze me. I hope that one day I can display but a portion of the qualities that reside within you. You have the ability and willingness to Love even after being hurt, there’s strength in that. You often extend forgiveness where it is not deserved, there’s strength in that. You trust. There’s strength in that. You nurture. You endure. You submit, and not in a lowly manner but in a hopeful one. You see every time you allow someone entry into your heart you are submitting in a sense to that individual. So be careful. Leave nothing to chance, especially your happiness. Continue to hope. Continue to love. I don’t have to tell you to be strong because you already are. Just live and never be afraid to choose.

As Always,

Date Responsibly

Kevin

Sometimes the King is a woman. That simply means after God, there’s YOU. The task of producing the life you desire has been placed in your hands. As you navigate through the dating pool, remember that the men you come across can potentially contribute to your happiness, but they aren’t responsible for it. In fact, attaching YOUR happiness to the actions of another is the very root of the unhappiness that you’re seeking to avoid. You can’t control men. You can’t control what we do. BUT you can control the stake we hold in your life. Before you trust me, make sure that I am trustworthy. Before giving me your heart, be sure that I am responsible enough to care for it. Your life is your kingdom, so be the King. Set the standards, make your rules and become responsible for the outcome. As always, Date Responsibly.

Your success in any area including your relationship begins and ends with you. If there is a gap between what you have and what you want then an intentional reevaluation is needed. Allow yourself some space by spending some time alone. Time spent by yourself should be time spent on yourself. As you do this, know that the one constant in life lies in who we are, until we change who we are. Enhance who you are and watch everything in your life rise to the level of YOU as a result. Even the quality of the men you date will change as you do. Notice I said the men that you date not the men who approach you. You can’t help who yells at you from across the street (however unpleasant). BUT you can help who you allow into your life. Keep this in mind as you continue to Date Responsibly.

To Whom It May Concern,

Let me start by saying that though I may not know your name, I do believe that I know who you are. I hope that makes sense. I truly believe that all of our paths cross at some point in life whether directly or indirectly and that we all can learn a little something from one another if we remain open. This year I have decided to dedicate my efforts to the spreading of a specific message. One that I feel will benefit all those willing to receive it, including myself. The message or the plea rather is to Date Responsibly. It will be outlined in a series of four e-books all with the aforementioned title broken down into volumes that will focus on specific and intentional information.

The message is a corporate one as it applies to women and men alike. However ladies, this series is for you. It isn’t my intention to pardon men from irresponsible behavior. Nor is it my goal to excuse their (our) lack of commitment to you at times. It’s just that I have come to learn something about men and women for that matter. It is this; many times it takes a woman to live in such a way that through her lifestyle she teaches the lessons that a man ought to learn. That’s power! But with that power comes responsibility and it’s on that responsibility that your true fulfillment hinges.

You see being consistently happy is more than a possibility. The more responsibility you take for your own happiness the more probable it is that what you seek will indeed come into fruition. I am not naive enough to assume that this message is for everyone. Although I am fairly certain that there are those who both need and desire it. Not because they are doing something wrong but because they desire to do something right.

Whatever your past, however your present let us focus on your future. Please know that I am writing this letter and have created this series with your heart in mind. I encourage you to guard it. It’s more than precious and every time it’s pricked it leaves a scar. These scars can be overcome but not undone. If not careful they can limit your capacity to not only give love but to receive the love you both desire and deserve as well.

I hope that we can continue to build on this conversation that is designed to climax with the release of the first volume of this series in March.  I am available and open via twitter, facebook, email, etc. As we proceed please remember to #DateResponsibly.

Always with you in mind,

Kevin

PS.  If you can relate to this letter then someone else can as well. Please forward this to a few friends so that we may all grow together.

On your journey to finding true love, be careful not to make a wrong turn. Could Mr. Right be under your nose, ladies?

Don’t Be Stubborn When it Comes to Love

If the guy you’re dating suddenly stops calling, relationships expert Kevin Carr says any one of these 10 reasons could be why. Are you guilty of raising any of these red flags? Click to find out!

1. It Could Be Him, Or You

Relationship expert Kevin Carr reveals why he bid farewell to the player lifestyle to focus on making love last.

I Changed, and He Can Too

1. Don’t Blow It!

2. Location, Location, Location!

Absolutely no first dates in the living room — yours or his. This sends the wrong message to a man. It tells him that you are entirely too comfortable too soon. If you spend the first date on his couch, where will you spend the second?

 

3. What Time IS It?

Grandma said it best: “Ain’t nothing open after midnight but legs.” The later the hour the more relaxed you become. This makes it especially hard to pay attention to detail, which is imperative on a first date. Plus, dates scheduled earlier in the day allow for more flexibility. For example, if you hit it off, you may want to add another activity to the date that wasn’t originally planned. Can you do that at 2 a.m.?

 

4. Clothes Are Required

Men are visual. The first thing we see often determines the first thing we think, so remember to dress appropriately on a first date. Yes, be sexy, but don’t let it all hang out. Leave something for the imagination; guessing is a good thing, as it will add to a man’s intrigue.

 

5. No Job Interviews

“Where do you work?” “How much do you make?” “What are your future plans?” No one likes to be interrogated on a first date. Cultivating conversation and listening intently will reveal everything that you need to know about him. Give it time.

 

6. Ditch the Attitude

Believe it or not, men are often nervous on first dates too. Smile and be approachable. He is busy trying to make a good first impression with you, so throw him a bone. [Unless, of course, he’s a dog and then he had it coming.]

7. No M-Bombs!

Watch those “m-bombs” on date one, ladies. Take it easy. Too serious and intimate of a conversation can potentially scare him off.

 

8. Let’s Talk About Sex

9. Check Your Insecurities At the Door.

10. Go Home Alone

1. If He Says He Doesn’t Need You, He’s Lying

2. Boundaries

3. Security

4. Balance

5. Substance

6. Space

7. Trust

8. Truth

9. Encouragement

10. Unconditional Love

11. He NEEDS YOU